Social Networks And Face-to-face Relationships

Seated at a wide table in a well-known cafeteria, Pepe, a man in his thirties, had been absorbed in his tablet for a long time, typing messages relentlessly. In front of him, Amaya, a woman his own age, just raised her eyes from her computer screen to take a few sips of her coffee.

After a long half hour, an older man with a breakfast tray in hand, approached them to ask:

“Would you make a hole for me, please?”

The two characters were shocked. They were occupying that table, and while there was certainly free space, it was their table. And it was Amaya who politely let him know.

“Excuse me, this table is being occupied by us at the moment …

The older man reacted instantly, telling them:

“Ah!” Excuse you. It is that I have been observing a while precisely to make sure, and I have had the feeling that it was a common table, the kind that are shared without the need to know each other …

That statement puzzled them. After a few moments of pure bewilderment, it was Pepe who said:

“Welcome to our table.” And we would like you to tell us how you came to that conclusion.

The man sat down and began the dialogue:

“My name is Max, and what has made me think that is that I have been observing in you a lot of smiles and expressions on your faces.” It seemed that they were deeply involved in parallel conversations, each one in his own …

“Well, I’m Amaya, and that’s certainly what was happening.” We are both, Pepe and I, browsing our networks, with our respective friends.

“And yet they have come together …

“Indeed, because we are friends too.” Is there something strange about it?

—No, not at all, it’s just a feeling that wakes me up… like, behind so many networks, they are losing each other in this precious moment.

There was a dense silence, which Pepe broke with irony:

“After this, I think it’s time to get acquainted.”

A smiling Max was quick to reply:

“Go ahead, delighted by me.”

“You see, Max, networking is important to us.” They help us infinitely in our relationships.

“I don’t doubt it, and I’m sure you may think that because of my age I can’t
agree, but I do.” Networks are a great help for relationships, no doubt about it.

-But…

-… but there are two limits that are very clear to me.

The first, the time we dedicate to networks, since in many cases it is to the detriment of face-to-face relationships.

Amaya reacted:

“I’m sorry, but I don’t share it.” I don’t feel that the time I dedicate to my networks prevents me from my relationships in person.

Max just asked a disturbing question:

– What would you have done in the time of this cafe if you had not had the networks? What could have been between you as friends that could not take place?

Pepe looked at Max out of the corner of his eye. That endearing old man, like someone who doesn’t want to, fired accurate bullets. He immediately recognized himself on many occasions in which following the networks he had lost relationship opportunities in person, and Amaya’s look at the floor confirmed that he was possibly thinking the same thing.

With little desire to martyr himself with the reflection, he inwardly avoided it by asking Max a new question:

“And the second limit?”

—The nature of the relationships in the network.

I believe in relationships that have at least some face-to-face experience, and I don’t believe in those that are only virtual.

“I can discuss it with you with concrete experiences of virtual relationships that do work, ” Amaya replied.

“And I’ll believe what you tell me.” But these experiences are more on the side of the exception than on the side of the norm. And the reason is very clear:

If we have never seen each other, if we have not shared a physical encounter, the messages we send each other do not have a solid basis of interpretation.

We do not know for sure what tone accompanies them and the meaning of many of them. There is no guarantee of interpretation and there is no guarantee of authenticity. What tells us that what comes to us is something genuine from the person behind it?

Again the silence was very present, and Max could observe the reflective faces of Pepe and Amaya. He took the opportunity to add:

“We are designed for personal encounters. ” Non-verbal language continues to speak loud and clear to us, more than a virtual message.

Pepe took the floor again to challenge him:

“So you defend or condemn the networks?”

—I believe that networks are a great instrument, probably the best we have ever had to maintain contact, but I do not believe in relationships that do not have or have had a personal meeting space.

“And in the distance?”

—They are a great help, but above all to bring us closer for a moment to those we already know.

Amaya stepped in to get the clarity she lacked:

“I mean … yes to the networks?”

– A convinced yes, but limiting the time of use and with person-to-person experience. As much as possible.

Pepe, after a moment of reflection and remembering how Max had appeared at his table thinking that he and Amaya did not know each other, added:

—And above all without ever breaking the potential of the present moment.

Max smiled. Pepe had stolen the words from her mouth. Amaya in an automatic gesture lowered the screen of her laptop and sympathetically stole the tablet from Pepe, at the same time she said:

—And there is as much reason in those words as that I want to spend the rest of breakfast talking to you, Pepe, and without interference.

Amaya said those words slowly, slowly, staring Pepe in the eyes. And when they both turned to find Max’s knowing gaze, they found that he had simply vanished.