7 Tips To Leave A Mark On Others

Suzanne Simard, a researcher at the University of British Columbia, says that the trees in a forest are connected like the neurons in our brain and messages and information are sent.

Before dying, the older ones pass their energy and legacy to the younger ones so that they can take advantage of it. Knowing this, one cannot avoid the question:

What will my legacy be? What do I want to do with the time I have left?

Waves that expand

Apparently, every time a person dies, a whole library of unique wisdom and experiences disappears with them.

However, the professor of psychiatry Irvin Yalom talks about the propagation by means of concentric waves or concentric circles of the influence that we all create, although we are not always aware of it, and that can leave its mark on others for years.

“The effect we have on others is transmitted, in turn, to others, in the same way that the concentric circles produced by throwing a stone into a pond continue to expand, even when they are no longer visible to us. The concept of concentric waves refers to leaving something from one’s life experience, some gesture, some good advice, some guide, some advice to others, knowing it or not, “Yalom writes in Looking at the sun (Booket, 2009).

To leave our mark, perhaps our presence is enough, simply to exist. Often others remember about us what we have thought less important, like the child who keeps in memory what his parents did not see for themselves.

However, certain attitudes help us more than others to express ourselves and expand our creativity. Sometimes, out of fear or inhibition, we limit ourselves, adapting to what is expected of us. This prevents us from developing the strength that makes us unique and giving others the treasure or gift that only we possess.

So will your footprints

1. Don’t worry about what they think of you

It is difficult to survive without ever taking into account the opinion of those around us, but always being aware of their approval and acceptance, in addition to being a drag, blocks the freedom to be.

We become slaves to the image we want to give. We are letting others put the value on us. Loving yourself does not need justification.

It is convenient to learn to validate our internal sensations and act more from the inside out than from the outside in.

There is a rule that usually does not fail : when a person respects the outside a lot, they often stop respecting themselves; and vice versa, when a person respects himself a lot, he tends to despise the outside.

What group are you in?

Finding a balance can take a lifetime. Virgina Woolf, Dalí or Picasso were people who always did what they wanted without thinking about conventions or whether they liked them or not … And they left us a great legacy that we still admire and serves as a reference for many.

2. Face the fear of the unknown

It is the best way to learn something new. And, if we take something with us in this life, they are experiences. Australian nurse Bronnie Ware notes that many people before dying regret not having risked more during their lives to fulfill their dreams.

Perhaps it is just about playing more and not abandoning that capacity that we all have to experience the new and to learn while enjoying, without so much control, allowing us to open ourselves to the imagination. Recover the soul while we do and create, parking inertia and automatisms.

3. Have the Courage to Be Consistent

To be consistent with our essence it is also often necessary to be brave, which is also our responsibility as human beings. It helps to ask yourself: “If my child were in this same situation, what would I want him to do: conform or take a chance?”

Perhaps, if we dare, we will also pave the way for him when he finds himself in a similar dilemma. Fighting is not to be avoided, even if we have to pay a price for it. It is in the discussion where we usually take off our masks and show ourselves.

The costumes have been left out, which can be very uncomfortable, it is true, but it can become a way to face the truth and start having more authentic relationships that are really worth it.

To do this, it will be necessary to bear the “good” guilt that implies accepting to pay the price of an action and deeply accept oneself in all its facets.

4. Transcend perfectionism

It can be an obstacle because the fear of failure that perfectionism entails can lead us to immobility. It is as dangerous as comfort or pessimism. Because innovating does not always mean doing everything right from the start.

5. Open your life to utopia and madness

Ask yourself from time to time: if I were crazy, what would I do? Probably in this answer you will find many of the wishes and dreams that you do not even dare to name out of fear.

In Gestalt training there is an exercise called the “mad therapist”. It consists of connecting exclusively with your interior and doing or saying to the patient the first thing that comes to mind. Real miracles happened. He already said it in his book Guillermo Borja La locura, lo cura (La Llave, 2004).

6. Connect with your being, beyond the ego

According to the psychologist Abraham Maslow, we all have a nucleus that drives us to realize ourselves as unique beings and that always struggles to express itself.

Failure to do so harms health, because, according to him, disease “comes from the denial of human potential. The good life is the search for that potential and daily living the life that it animates. This approach concerns the highest possibilities of humans”.

Which means going beyond what we think we are –and the definitions that limit us–, to give us the opportunity to become what we are not yet. When we transcend ourselves, we open ourselves to new possibilities overcoming beliefs and fears.

7. Allow yourself to flow over time

When we most express our uniqueness is when the task we carry out completely absorbs us, making us lose track of time and ourselves. It requires all of our involvement and the pleasure of exercising it is maximum.

The guitarist Paco de Lucía explained it very well in La Vanguardia talking about his struggle to find the best expression of his art: “While I play, I am looking for that balance in which everything flows”. And when you get it: “Levitas! All fear, all insecurity, all fighting disappears.” Do you

What does this make you feel in your life?