Having It All And Not Knowing It

Adriana had long felt that her life was missing something.

Seen from the outside everything seemed to be going well. She had a well-paid job in a large multinational, a boyfriend who visited her one week a month – his company had transferred him abroad -, a spacious rental apartment, good health and an enviable figure for his 33 years.

However, he was not happy. And the maddening thing was that he did not know what was missing to be happy.

I had done different therapies, an enneagram course, coaching workshops … but it was still the same. Of course, he struggled to imagine other possible lives that might bring him the desired fulfillment. That Saturday morning, Adriana indulged in this fantasy exercise. He had come down to buy the newspaper in freezing weather and, before returning home, he had stopped at a nearby cafe.

After a round of bad news in the press, he ordered a green tea. As he gazed out of the glass at the frozen trees, he indulged in his usual reveries. He took a first sip of the infusion and began to dissect the elements that made up his listless existence.

He earned a good salary in the multinational and the atmosphere was pleasant, but he did not seduce him to do the same all his life. If he waited five or six more years, it would be too late to change.

She harbored the same doubts about her boyfriend. While they lived together he had seemed the perfect man. Now, however, even though they spoke on the phone every day, the long-distance relationship had chilled her. Among other things, it seemed to her that he had gotten used to being without her too quickly.

If Adriana found out in the end that he was not the right person, it would be difficult for her to find another man for a serious relationship, and meanwhile the motherhood clock kept ticking …

The more he analyzed his life, the greater was his confusion.

After work and love, it was the turn of the apartment that he had rented for six years. She was the envy of her friends, but Adriana had already gotten tired of that farm from the beginning of the 20th century.

The rooms were spacious and the ceilings high, but the floor was a constant source of annoyances. When a crack did not appear, there was some problem with the plumbing, not to mention what it cost to heat those 90 square meters, too much for a woman who was now alone.

Maybe he should look at a new buy floor, he told himself, now that prices had plummeted. They were certainly less charming than a modernist estate and were in less central neighborhoods, but he had to think ahead. Looking ahead to retirement, it was wise to get a home of your own, even if it was a modest one.

Once she had turned her entire existence upside down, Adriana finished her tea with a sigh and left the establishment.

This weekend promised to be deadly in need, she thought as, frozen, she hurried to make her way home. All his friends had taken advantage of the arrival of the snow to go skiing. Since she had no relatives in the city, she would spend her free time reading with a blanket on her knees, just like her grandmother.

Upon reaching the portal of his house, he suddenly made a terrible discovery: he had left the keys inside. It had happened a couple of times now, but never on the weekend. Her best friend had a copy of the keys, but she lived alone and at that time she was in a distant ski resort. The other game was played by the cleaning lady. He immediately called her on her cell phone, ready to take a taxi to pick up the keys wherever she was, but the answering machine went off.

Overwhelmed, Adriana suddenly realized that she had nowhere to go. To protect himself from the freezing wind, he went into a bar on the same street and twice called the only person who could get him the keys.

The phone was still off. Had he unplugged it all weekend? What if the cleaning woman, like her friends, also spent the two days outside, in a place without coverage? In this case it was lost. She would be forced to wander the streets on Saturday and Sunday without anyone being able to give her a hand. At most, he could get a hotel room, but he wouldn’t even have clothes to change into.

‘Many seek happiness as others seek the hat: they wear it on top and do not realize it.’ Nikolaus Lenau

Horrified at the prospect, her old apartment suddenly seemed the most comfortable place in the universe. All his things were there; and the novel that had just begun and that had her totally trapped. Also, there was delicious food in the fridge and she really wanted to cook. He had planned to put on his favorite CD and pour himself a glass of wine while he leisurely crafted the recipe. As she thought about these plans that had been ruined by her distraction, she wanted to cry.

Right at that moment, his cell phone started ringing. Adriana frantically searched her bag for it, wishing it was the cleaning woman. She was so upset that when she saw her boyfriend’s name on the screen, she felt almost disappointed.

He hastily told her what had happened to him. He responded to the other side with a laugh that only increased his fury.

“Is that funny to you?”
“Of course,” he answered, ” especially since I’m calling you from home. ” From our apartment. I have come as a surprise and, seeing that you were not there, I called you.

Euphoric and relieved, Adriana ran to the old apartment without missing a single moment. Just two minutes later she was kissing that man about whom an hour before she had had her doubts.

“It will be possible!” Why haven’t you notified that you were coming? She asked him.
“I already told you that I wanted to surprise you. ” In fact, there are two: the other is that I have come to stay. I have asked headquarters to return to my old position. I missed you too much, honey.

After hugging him even more intensely, Adriana knew for the first time that she was with who she wanted to be and where she wanted to be. Happiness was so close that until then his emotional myopia had prevented him from seeing it.